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What You Don’t Know by Lulu Wang tells the story of a family’s decision to keep a painful secret from their elderly grandmother. Wang explains why her family believed keeping their grandmother’s rapidly approaching death from her was the only option. What You Don’t Know forces you to ask yourself if, in the same position, you would keep a secret you knew would hurt someone, or if you would choose to keep the person blissfully ignorant.
The author of What You Don’t Know is Lulu Wang. She is a Chinese author who was raised in Miami, Florida. Wang’s story What You Don’t Know was featured on the podcast This American Life. Wang shared her creative narrative about the time she was forced to keep a person ignorant. She tells the story of how her family was able to keep the secret of her grandmother’s cancer from her grandmother. The very emotional story takes you through her personal struggle with keeping such a huge secret from someone she cares so deeply about. In her story Wang tackles the theme of ignorance being bliss. I am torn between whether or not I personally agree with the family’s choice to deceive Wang’s grandmother. In this particular situation, however, I feel as though keeping her grandmother’s cancer from her was probably the best thing to do. Early on in the story, Wang’s great aunt makes the argument that telling her grandmother about the cancer is going to kill her. Knowing now that her grandmother is alive, I can’t help but agree. There are so many stories of people dying from a broken heart and I believe that Wang’s grandmother knowing she was going to die would have killed her before the cancer got the chance to. I also believe in this case it was the right thing to do because Wang’s grandmother was very old. She had already lived the majority of her life and it would have been better for her to go peacefully, not anticipating her death every hour of every day. It is very likely that if the family had told Wang’s grandmother about her cancer she would not still be alive today. It would have given her a chance to prepare, yes, but it also would have essentially sealed her fate. Knowing you are going to die does nothing but deteriorate your mental health. That in turn takes a toll on your physical health and pushes you even closer to death. If Wang’s family had told her grandmother about her cancer it more than likely would have killed her. I am forced almost every day to make the decision of whether or not to tell the most difficult truth that surrounds my life. Four years ago, my father died of a drug overdose. His passing in itself took such a toll on my life, but the manner in which he passed hurt even more. As a college student, I am forced to meet new people every day. They ask about my family, or see my tattoo for him, or see the motorcycle pendant around my neck; all things that force me to explain that he is gone. Telling someone your father has passed elicits two responses: one of great sympathy and one of great curiosity. Every time I am asked how he died I have to decide whether or not I will be truthful. For my whole life I have heard people speaking ill of drug addicts, addressing them as bums and criminals. There is an idea that people who are addicted to drugs are these terrible people that are so below everyone else. My father was easily the greatest man I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I was so fearful of my father’s memory being tarnished that I would lie and tell people he died of a heart attack. In the moment it made me feel better for not having to explain that yes, he lost a battle with drugs but he was also a good man. In time, however, it made me feel like I had to be ashamed of my father. I would avoid talking about him all together because I didn’t want to have to decide whether or not I would have to be truthful. I came to the decision that no matter what I would be honest. I would show people that being someone who is addicted to drugs does not make you a bad person, it makes you a person with an illness. It is still very difficult for me to be honest about how my father passed, but in this case I know it is the best was to be honest with myself.
1 Comment
Emily Kershaw
9/12/2017 07:07:26 am
Corrine,
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